From left to right: Heather, Dustin, Michael, Naomi, Adam, Leroy and Nany (MTV)
Riding on its explosive guido-don-cu-lous success of “Jersey Shore,” MTV is attempting to resurrect its original reality cash cow with tonight’s premiere of the “Real World: Las Vegas” (10/9c). But it’s not just any season of the “Real World”—it’s the milestone 25th season. Judging from the premiere, we like to think of it as MTV’s version of a quarter-life crisis.
But the adventures at Seaside Heights make “Real World” seem as exciting as going to your grandmammy’s bingo party.
But for all you “RW” worshippers, here’s the rundown on all the young bucks that’ll be breaking it down—and breaking down—in Sin City:
Dustin Zito, 24 (Rayne, LA): He seems like you’re typical Southern boy toy, but Dustin’s got a big secret that really isn’t a secret! Besides falling in love too easily (and hooking up with cast member Heather, which he knows is a big no-no), this kid has done the digital get-down online! Yup, we got a for-real porn star in da house!
Heather Marter, 22 (Delran, NJ): The blond sorority chick says she’d love to live in her teeny weeny bikini all day. Does she goes beyond one-dimensional? We ain’t bettin’ on it.
Leroy Garrett, 24 (Romulus, MI): Thump your chest because Leroy’s all man! The typical testosterony meat head dives into threesome make-out sessions with random ladies and becomes incredibly confused by any dude who gives off the slightest gay vibe or is seemingly weak.
Adam Royer, 22 (Falmouth, ME): Because Adam went to juvie, he seems to believe he’s the white man’s version of 50 Cent. (Hey, tough guy, you’re from Maine.) He’s lustifully in love with housemate Nany but makes it a point to bring different chicks home every night to make her a little jealous. When it comes to luring his victims, he keeps things very scripted. Playerrrr.
Nany González, 21 (Jamestown, NY): The gorgeous Dominican is the only cast member in a relationship, but from watching the premiere, it doesn’t look like it for long. She’s got the hots for Adam (why, we have no idea!), and it seems their mutual attraction for each other is going to make things messy…just the way Adam likes it.
Naomi Defensor, 22 (Bronx, NY): Aside from taking the 80s garb trend way too seriously and complaining about her unperky twins, we have yet to see what Naomi brings to the table, but she cool, she cool.
Michael Ross, 23 (Woodbridge, VA): Just recently tossing his promise ring out the door (if you know what we mean), this good ole Catholic boy tries his bestest to be a man-slut and mesh well socially, but he ends up reciting his biblical prayers to two drunken chicks sitting on his bed waiting to be man-handled. Nerd alert.
The 25th season premiere of “Real World” in Las Vegas airs tonight on MTV at 10/9c.
